Posts Tagged ‘journey’

When I say random I mean random! Ready for a glimpse into my crazy brain! It’s bouncy.

You can’t help others unless you take care of yourself.

It’s hard to be the caretaker of others constantly and this is coming from a caretaker by nature. If you let yourself go too long it’s harder to bring yourself back.

I love to care for others. I get great satisfaction from others needing me. Not sure why, I just do.

When you let that get in the way of taking care of yourself you can get into trouble.

I am not saying this because I am too far gone. I do help myself. I am saying this because a little truth and honesty is needed from time to time. We just don’t get that ever.

I am realizing that with social media these days we only get a small, very positive glimpse into the lives of others. And it’s deceiving. It’s not healthy.

People generally take pictures of happy things, I just wish they were more honest. I want to see a picture of someone with zits and bags under their eyes because that’s real. I don’t want a whoa is me story constantly but truth!

Today I’m happy.
Today im sad.
Today I is a great day.
Today I wish I could stay in bed.

Or is that all too much??? I’m not sure we need to know all of that. There is such a thing as over sharing.

I digress. I guess what I am saying is that I like truth.

Sometimes it’s good to write out your thoughts. It’s healthy to write about what you feel. I like to do that but often filter myself. I often write posts that I don’t publish. Afraid to offend someone or make them feel bad. I avoid hypocrisy at all costs. I am sensitive to others feelings.

I envy those who can speak their mind. My sister and my best friend always tell me to “speak up”, “express your feelings”. I have the hardest time with that. Someday I will do it. Someday I will tell someone when I am bothered by something they have done or said to me. Or maybe not. Maybe I will never be that person. That’s ok I guess.

At my age I am still figuring myself out. It’s a lot of hard work to truly understand who I am. I question everything. I want to be unique but not to the point I am standing out. I want to be original and true to myself. I want to find myself. That’s the journey I am on.

I know the many things I love. The trouble is that I never focus on just one at a time. It’s my goal this year (really the rest if this year and all of 2015) to focus. On myself. And not in a selfish, ignore everyone else, put myself first kind of way. I want to explore this things I love. Share them with my family and friends.

With that said, the randomness is over. It’s the witching hour. The kids are literally going crazy downstairs. It’s shower time, wind down time and clearly they need some assistance. Always the care taker. But I love it! I love them. Even though they are silly, wild boys!


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